Google

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Getting afraid is a must

University professor

A student comes to this old professor’s place for some personal lessons and doubt clearance on micro biotechnology. Student puts up his queries in the discussion but it seems as if the professor is really worried about something and is not giving attention to the student. Occasionally professor starts staring at various locations in the house. When student asks him about the matter, brooded professor responds that there is a man in the house who is harassing him from last six months and is trying to become someone exactly like the professor and when this puzzled student tries to check if there is any other person in the house, he finds no one and feels that professor has gone psychic and needs a psychiatrist and starts packing up his books and stuff. Then professor stops him and says that he is not mad and whatever he is saying is a truth and then takes the student with him to show something so that the student will believe whatever the professor said. Prof. takes the student with him in front of a mirror and shows him the person who is trying to become exactly like this professor and when camera rolls on the mirror , it shows the student standing with a dark skinned guy wearing a cap who is definitely not the professor. In front of mirror are standing the student and professor and in the reflection of the mirror stand student and a different ugly looking guy wearing professor’s dress and a cap.

Prankster couple

A handsome guy in the middle of night knocks the door of a lone house and the door is opened by a beautiful sexy lady wearing a silky black gown. This guy tells the lady that he needs to make an urgent phone call and his car broke down and couldn’t see any avenue nearby so he needs this favor from this lady to call up someone. Lady says it’s fine and allows this guy to make a call and offers him water. Guy sees a photograph in which lady is standing with another guy with really long hairs and a ultra big mustache and on asking about the mustache man he gets the answer from the lady that the mustache man was his husband and was died two years ago. On mentioning that he is sorry about her husband’s death, lady says she’s not. Lady shows this guy the room from where he can make the phone call and on entering that room this guy finds the mustache man and mustache man starts cursing this guy that what is he doing in house. Terrified guy tries to explain that the lady who opened the door claims to be mustache man’s wife and on this mustache man becomes really angry and tells the guy that his wife was died two years ago. This come as a shock to the guy and when he sees up at the stairs he could see the smiling sexy lady stepping down and mustache man sees nothing. Just before the panic struck guy was about to pass out the couple starts laughing and tell that it was their prank and there was nothing to be worried about. They just did this as they were getting bored. Lady also tells that mustache man has interest in calling souls and was just trying to call some soul from ghost world with the help of the apparatus consisting of a board and a coin. Lady also puts up a question in front of the guy that if he believed that on calling souls can come down. Mustache man had already made a statement that that it was possible to call the souls but sometime it becomes really difficult to send them back.

Mustache man claims that he can call ‘Joe Fernandez’ the car mechanic in five minutes who will help this guy in repairing his car. Then mustache man starts his process of calling Joe’s soul and in the mean time lady keeps on banging the question to the handsome guy that if he believed souls can be called to earth from the other world. Exactly after five minutes when mustache man has finished his process of calling soul, someone knocks at their door. When all of them the handsome guy, the mustache man and the sexy lady are out to the roadway in front of the main door, the hubby-wife couple is in for a shock. There is a wrecked car lying on the road, the driver of the car is dead and no wonder the driver of the car is this handsome guy standing with the couple and who just died in this accident. The soul of the handsome guy explains that he was died in this road accident recently and when the mustache guy was trying to call a soul, he responded to his call and obviously the soul of the handsome guy has to make the final statement and it says ‘It’s possible to call souls but sometime it really becomes difficult to send them back to the place from where they are coming’.

Movie director

Karan Chopra is a famous Bollywood director who is adept at making romantic movies. This maven romantic director is trying to make his foray into something different and for the first time is trying his hands at making a true horror movie and needs a new girl for the lead role. He is presently working on the climax of the movie and for this he needs complete concentration on the subject and for focusing on the subject he is headed towards his serene bungalow in the tranquil valley of Khandala. He directs his assistant that a new girl should be selected for the lead role and he shouldn’t be disturbed at his place in Khandala till the time he finalizes the climax of the movie.

En route he finds a beautiful girl asking for a lift to Khandala. Director stops the car and offers her the front seat of his Honda CRV. Obviously they start talking. Girl recognizes that she is sitting beside a celebrity. She tells him that she is huge fan of him and has watched one of his famous movies nine times and has seen all his movies. Karan asks if she has seen ‘Kabhi Apne Kabhi Paraye’ his latest hit. On this she says she already booked the advanced tickets for this movie but couldn’t watch the movie. She shows the booked ticket also to the director. Director also tells her that his new venture is a horror flick in which he will show that a girl asks for lift on the highway from lonesome men and kills them one by one and he is still in search of a brilliant climax and that’s why he’s heading towards Khandala where he will plan the best climax for his movie. He also inquires if the girl gets afraid by watching horror movies and on this she replies that she is not afraid of anything. The car goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark and at that instant girl claims that she was died in the same tunnel ten days back. Karan is now all afraid and sweating. At the end of the dark tunnel girl smiles and says that she was just joking and she’s not any kind of ghost. Karan offers her to have a coffee at his bungalow. The girl accepts the coffee proposal. As they reach Karan’s place it starts raining. The girl asks Karan for using the wash room. As she was inside the wash room power goes off and Karan mentions that there is nothing to be afraid of, frequent power cut is very obvious thing at this place. Girls comes out shockingly and makes the repeated statement that she is not afraid of anything and then she start crying that all you lonesome men are similar and you just want to do the same thing with a young girl. She continues that ten days back she asked for a lift from someone on the highway, the guy who offered her the lift wanted to rape her in the car but was not successful so he threw her away on the road and she died on the highway dismally and dreadfully. She explained further that all you guys are same and now it’s your turn to die. You wanted to write the climax of your movie so here is the climax, your climax will be the climax of movie and suddenly her beautiful face changes into a repugnant spooky grimace and fear has crossed all the limits for the ace director and he is hit by huge heart attack. As the girl sees that the director is getting a heart attack and dying she starts crying and shouting that she is just an actress and his assistant finalized her for the horror movie and she was trying to portray her acting abilities. She snatches off the sticky mess from her face and tells him that it was all false and she is not a ghost at all. But all this explanation was too late to make the director come alive.

Insurance agent

Someone rings the doorbell of the house of a married couple in afternoon hours and enters their house. This guy who just came in, a short guy in formal dress and also wearing a tie and claims that he’s not a sales person. Husband explains to this tie guy that they don’t want to buy anything and he should leave immediately. On this the tie guy turns furious and explains to the couple that life is unpredictable and accidents can happen any time. Bad times don’t come after telling you, anything can happen anytime. The tie guy sees a bunch of bananas in the fruit basket and just a look of this banana bunch puts in lots of unrest in the tie guy. Tie guy takes out a paper and burns it with a match stick. Couple is all stunned and there comes a spray from fire extinguisher from the tie guy and then he again starts explaining that he is trying to demonstrate that accidents can happen anytime. Tie guy takes out a knife, a bottle of poison, a suicide rope and other such ‘death’ stuff from his bag and explains to couple that these things are the means of death and death can arrive anytime. Manifestly the couple understands the fact that the tie guy is an insurance agent and trying to sell an insurance policy to the husband so that he can meet his sales target. Already being pissed off so much the husband explains to the tie guy that he doesn’t need the insurance policy and in no case from such a brainsick like him and takes this guy out of his house.

After few moments again there is a doorbell ring and insurance agent gets in again. He says that it has started raining and he forgot to pick his umbrella and then pulls a pistol and again starts explaining why the couple needs to take this policy. As soon as the agent looses his concentration the husband punches off the agent so that pistol should fall away and in their encounter a gun shot sounds and what becomes visible is a bullet shot over left kidney of the insurance agent.

Revenge from the family

In a dark rainy night, a handsome lad is on his way to Pune from Mumbai in his SUV and is attending a call on his cell phone from most probably his girlfriend. While talking he sees a lady whose sight is not at all clear and feels as if he has hit the lady. He stops the car and asks if that lady was Okay. Next morning he finds himself in a police station and two cops were standing in front of him who are hitting him and beating him to inquire why he did this. The handsome lad says that he doesn’t know anything and he doesn’t remember who brought him here and also asks what happened to that lady on the road. Cops feel that he is making up all this and just want to confuse cops from the actual charge of killing a guy.

Sometimes later a middle aged irritating lady enters the jail cell and asks the Police inspector to show her the killer of her son. When she sees the handsome lad, she becomes furious and starts beating him and asks him why he did that. Cop tries to calm the lady and starts inquiring the lady about his family and son and if his son was married. Lady responds that her husband is in Pune currently and her son was married and her daughter in law was not having good character. She deserted her son and ran away with some other guy. On this the handsome guy whose one hand is tied with the help of hand cuff to the window of jail cell, starts making horrific faces and starts uttering in a dubious mixed voice of a male and a female and narrates that she is Sudha, the daughter in law of the lady sitting beside the police inspector. He/She announces further that her mom in law is lying. She used to love her husband and her family very much and she also used to call her mother in law “Maa”. But these people never cared about her and killed her. They burnt her alive after spraying kerosene on her body. So she stuck herself to this guy who was passing by the road last night and whom you have caught and thru his body killed her husband. Obviously the old lady is in a fix but inspector feels that the handsome lad is trying to just make a case for himself as if he is mentally ill and hence he shouldn’t be sentenced any kind of severe punishment .Jokingly inspector asks this lad even if he believes that he is Sudha who was murdered by his parents in laws and husband but how can this be proved in the court?

The furious soul of Sudha residing inside the body of handsome lad gets furious. She comes out of the body of smart lad and enters the body of police inspector and kills the old lady on the spot from the Cop’s revolver. Now Cop understands the whole story and buries the dead body of irritating lady with the help of his assistant and the handsome smart lad and asks the young lad to head towards where he was actually headed. As soon as young lad starts his car he hears the voice of Sudha and finds a lady sitting in the front seat beside him and she had a terrifying face. She definitely looks like a ghost. She explains to this young lad that she has got nothing to do with the lad. He just needs to drop her to Pune as her father in law is still alive. She will stick to some different person this time and get her work done.

Grandma’s stories

A group of middle or may be primary school students is wandering in a deep forest near the resort where their other patrons and teachers are staying for a school picnic. This forest is a spooky one and some of the kids are terrified and feel that they should head back to the resort where everyone must be waiting for them. But as collective decision comes out, they start to get inside the deep jungle. Deep inside the jungle they see an old lone creepy mansion and feel puzzled that why is there a house inside the jungle so deep and whether anyone lives in that house. But they also understand that it’s getting dark and they should reach their hotel in the resort on time. But as soon as they start to head back, it starts raining and they have nothing but this obscure mansion to hide in and protect themselves from the rain. There they meet an old lady of age of their grandma. Kids inquire if she lives alone there. She says that she lives there with her servant Sukhia and presently she has sent him to bring the medicines from the city as she was not feeling well.

One kid inquires if grandma gets scared and feels afraid residing their alone; she asserts that to be true. One of the boys in the group claims that he is not afraid of anything. Grandma tells him that ‘being afraid’ is a must and there is no other choice. She says that she will narrate six stories to the group of kids and after that they will definitely get scared. Grandma keeps on telling the stories one after other and as and when any kid leaves the group for loo or having water, he/she gets killed and their souls return back to the room where grandma is narrating stories. By the time grandma has finished her five stories all but one kid are already dead. This is same kid who claimed that he is never scared. To this grandma accepts that he won the challenge as he was never afraid. This kid then inquires the grandma that she told them that she will be narrating them six stories but she has only told them five. On this grandma responds that she has already finished all six stories and the sixth story was told at the very beginning and that was the story of herself and her servant Sukhia. This kid is in a shock now and tries to escape from the mansion but could never make it.

Next morning, on the news telecast on a news channel, this was being read by the news reader “Five young kids were found dead in the old house inside the deep forest. All of them died because of heart failure and it’s very unusual that kids with such small age can get heart failure. The only reason for their death is fear. The caretaker of the old house Sukhia has stated that the house is vacant from last many years and before that also the only resident in this house was the old lady owner who stayed there alone. She died long back when she sent him to bring medicines from the city, but before he could return to the house the lady was already dead. She loved kids very much.”
Google

Thursday, April 27, 2006

From the Upanishads

"You are what your deepest desire is;
As you desire, so is your intention;
As your intention, so is your will;
As is your will so is your deed;
As is your deed, so is your destiny"
- The Upanishads
Google

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Stock predictions by an amateur

BSE Sensex has already touched 12K and causing a lot of worry for small investors like me. Neither I am an expert of share markets nor I am a self proclaimed stock guru but in this note I am about to make some predictions for some stocks. No one including me is sure about how true these predictions will turn out but I want to give it a try. As the markets are already cruising at all time highs and most of the market persons are enjoying the party, I don't want to predict anything negative or in other words I want to predict the future of some stocks that I believe will provide handsome returns to the investors in six months time frame. I will definitely do appraisal/reality check of my predictions on October 23rd 2006, which is exactly 6 months far from today and will check how good I was at this. I am not trying to influence any reader to buy these stocks but will definitely appreciate their views and interest in these predictions. My predictions are neither based on ‘technicals’ nor ‘fundamentals’ but are also not based on just gut feeling or intuition. I will now straight away put forward the list of stocks that I feel will provide handsome returns in medium term. To be more quantitative I am predicting that these ten stocks will provide a return of more than 20% before October 23rd 2006. Here comes the list of these sweet stocks:

1.NTPC
Current Market Price: Rs. 136.10


2.Welspun India Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 117.15


3. Gujrat State Petronet Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 36.25


4. Bank of Baroda
Current Market Price: Rs. 229.20


5. Petronet LNG Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 53.65


6. Reliance Natural Resources Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 28.95


7. Arvind Mills Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 101.50


8. D-Link India Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 118.00


9. Indo Tech Transformers Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 204.00


10. Gitanjali Gems Ltd.
Current Market Price: Rs. 175.00


I am hoping for the best.

Google

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Communication meeting and American Pie II

I always believed in rules and loved to follow them but with age and time I have discovered that following rules always doesn’t help and even if you want to follow rules, there will be too many people around you who will not allow you to follow rules. Rules apart, I am so much pissed of with all political activities going on in my project that I hate to associate myself with anything, which reminds me of being associated with my project or organization. Although I have always felt grateful to my organization but these days I love to detest my project activities and that too because of just couple of persons in the project.

I don’t want to miss the original boat of ‘Communication Meeting’ thing. This ‘Communication Meeting or ‘Comm Meet’ in short is a quarterly organizational event wherein the bigwigs of my organization address the common employee and presents to them the figures of growth, future, past and present and blah blah and blah. Some kind of two ways communication shit it is. :-D Most of the times it’s a two hour event in some nice hotel in the town and is generally culminated with ‘High Tea’ which is nothing but a refreshment / snacks party. This one time in the super summers of Indorian April , I planned to skip this meeting but also didn’t want to stay back in the office. The scheduled time for being at the meeting was 2:45 PM, so everyone in the office started pushing off at around 2:30 PM and so did I. At the right moment on my way to the hotel where this meeting was planned I took a great left turn towards my house. I reached home, had super cool water from newly bought earthen pot. I changed my dress and changing here means removing some of the clothes, got into my natural summer costume i.e. vest and boxer. Then I booted my laptop. Saddled in the pirated DVD of ‘American Pie 2’ in the DVD drive. While enjoying the movie, I took proper care of taking breaks (not the commercial ones of course) and those breaks were for having some ‘Indori Sev’. I’d have loved Act II extra butter popcorns in place of ‘Indori Sev’.

Once I finished watching the movie, eventually I turned off my Laptop and went for enjoying a sweet nap. Evidently the movie was just OK, but it definitely was more enjoyable than breaking my lean ass on the hard chairs of ‘Hotel Celebrity’. As wise men say ‘ A friend in need is a friend indeed’, I got a call just at right time from one of my good friends indicating that its time to hit the office again and Dang!!! I got ready and was in the office at the most suitable time. After reaching office, I discussed with people around if there was anything important in the meeting and the reply I got from everyone was unanimous “You missed deep shit”.