Why KANK sucks ?????
KANK Sucks!!!!!
All those who know me well know well that I am a huge fan of SRK. I always try to watch his movies on Day one. Long live Balu, who arranged me the tickets for this movie in a great theatre in a Chicago suburb and man we are talking about day one. Theatre was great, company of friends in the theatre was great, even the nachos and big tall coke cup was great but ‘Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna’ was anything but great.
KANK is never ending long boring movie with a story which could have been shown in mere 90 minutes, had it been produced in Hollywood. Johar as always is a showman. He casts all the big names in his movies and this worked well until K3G but here he failed to create an entertainer. Best roles were given to Karol , John Abraham and Arjun Rampal according to me. The reason of course is they didn’t bore you that much. Aah !!!! I forgot to mention the best of the best role. It was played by Karan Gay (not Gay Gay , Just Happy Gay ) Johar. Do you remember, in which scenes did he appear ? He was in the train in the penultimate scene sitting with SRK. Anyway, let us not talk about acting performances here. Amitabh , Rani , Abhishek , Preity and to some extent SRK ; all of them are actors of category great to decent.
As appropriately quoted by one of my patrons, KANK is nothing but ‘switching story’. It starts and crawls and then culminates after more than 3 hours and in between it bores all. The major flaw in the movie per me is its length. Nice editing work could have saved this movie from total collapse but the story and the screenplay tried their level best to make this movie a pure junk. Someone wrote on sify movie review that this is SRK’s best performance after DDLJ. To that guy all I have to say is go F*** yourself. SRK did his best in ‘Swades’ and that consumed all that SRK had for couple of years and it will take him atleast another three years to come up with a performance as good as that.
Gay Johar managed to do justice to the nomenclature of the movie. Movie never said ‘Alvida’, it kept coming back and that too with larger intensity of boredom. SRK still needs to work on lip movement for the songs. He looked no different than how he use to do this stuff in ‘Dil Ashna Hai’ or “king Uncle’. Remember the songs ‘Dil Ashna Hai , Jigar Ashna Hai…’ and ‘Is Jahan Ki Nahin Hain Tumhari Ankhen’ !!! SRK keeps reminding himself that during his acting sessions raising both eyebrows at the same time will fetch him another filmf*** award to him and that’s what he was doing in this whole movie.
Songs were just okay. No real chartbusters in the movie. On the positive side there were some real ‘laugh out loud’ scenes in the movie. Especially the one, when Rani dresses up in leather and enters Abhishek’s room with a leather whip in the hand. You know I wanted to put it in this way only , I could have presented this the other way also. You know what I mean. Amit ji , managed to do justice to his role but if he continues to do roles like this , I am afraid I will have to withdraw this ‘Ji’ suffix from his name.
This is what my conclusion is: I have lost three and half precious hours of my life watching this grandiose crap and Gay Johar will never return my time to me. But I don’t want all of you guys to waste your precious time the way I did. Gay Johar has excreted so much of shit in KANK that lands of Dharma production will never ever need manure from outside to stay fertile.
All those who know me well know well that I am a huge fan of SRK. I always try to watch his movies on Day one. Long live Balu, who arranged me the tickets for this movie in a great theatre in a Chicago suburb and man we are talking about day one. Theatre was great, company of friends in the theatre was great, even the nachos and big tall coke cup was great but ‘Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna’ was anything but great.
KANK is never ending long boring movie with a story which could have been shown in mere 90 minutes, had it been produced in Hollywood. Johar as always is a showman. He casts all the big names in his movies and this worked well until K3G but here he failed to create an entertainer. Best roles were given to Karol , John Abraham and Arjun Rampal according to me. The reason of course is they didn’t bore you that much. Aah !!!! I forgot to mention the best of the best role. It was played by Karan Gay (not Gay Gay , Just Happy Gay ) Johar. Do you remember, in which scenes did he appear ? He was in the train in the penultimate scene sitting with SRK. Anyway, let us not talk about acting performances here. Amitabh , Rani , Abhishek , Preity and to some extent SRK ; all of them are actors of category great to decent.
As appropriately quoted by one of my patrons, KANK is nothing but ‘switching story’. It starts and crawls and then culminates after more than 3 hours and in between it bores all. The major flaw in the movie per me is its length. Nice editing work could have saved this movie from total collapse but the story and the screenplay tried their level best to make this movie a pure junk. Someone wrote on sify movie review that this is SRK’s best performance after DDLJ. To that guy all I have to say is go F*** yourself. SRK did his best in ‘Swades’ and that consumed all that SRK had for couple of years and it will take him atleast another three years to come up with a performance as good as that.
Gay Johar managed to do justice to the nomenclature of the movie. Movie never said ‘Alvida’, it kept coming back and that too with larger intensity of boredom. SRK still needs to work on lip movement for the songs. He looked no different than how he use to do this stuff in ‘Dil Ashna Hai’ or “king Uncle’. Remember the songs ‘Dil Ashna Hai , Jigar Ashna Hai…’ and ‘Is Jahan Ki Nahin Hain Tumhari Ankhen’ !!! SRK keeps reminding himself that during his acting sessions raising both eyebrows at the same time will fetch him another filmf*** award to him and that’s what he was doing in this whole movie.
Songs were just okay. No real chartbusters in the movie. On the positive side there were some real ‘laugh out loud’ scenes in the movie. Especially the one, when Rani dresses up in leather and enters Abhishek’s room with a leather whip in the hand. You know I wanted to put it in this way only , I could have presented this the other way also. You know what I mean. Amit ji , managed to do justice to his role but if he continues to do roles like this , I am afraid I will have to withdraw this ‘Ji’ suffix from his name.
This is what my conclusion is: I have lost three and half precious hours of my life watching this grandiose crap and Gay Johar will never return my time to me. But I don’t want all of you guys to waste your precious time the way I did. Gay Johar has excreted so much of shit in KANK that lands of Dharma production will never ever need manure from outside to stay fertile.
posted by Naveen at 10:16 PM
6 Comments:
Very nice review ! Prolly the best KANK review I ever read.. F*** IndiaFm !!
Every movie has its own perks of watching it in a theatre..The beST part of the entire movie was not the movie but the trailer for DHOOM 2 which preceeded the movie. The babes, the gadgets, the action, phew..blew my mind off.. I didnt like DHOOM 1 for I thought it was a bad rip off of Torque and Biker Boyz. But I am eagerly waiting for DHOOM 2 to start the fire of action flicks in India once again. Hollywood style :D
But I still think that the best performance SRK ever gave was in that movie with Madhuri Dixit and Salmaan Khaan whilst standing in front of that Ghoda statue.....I guess the movie was "Hum tumhare hai sanam" :D
I agree with Naveen.. and thanks to him that he made my expectations clear..which helped to get less frustration...
The movie is nothing but Fanaa Part II.. if you go with lots of expectations.. it SUCKS..!!
Don't even look at SRK.. just watch Abhishek..he has done a good job. Raani looks an immature confused type girl..(Typical girl nature "you know"..)
Pretti is very selfish n career oriented girl.. (Every guy should pay not to get such a wife.. touch wood)
You get a good feeling for few seconds on the entry of Kajol.. at the same time you happen to see John Abrahem..looking total stupid..
After 2 hrs you will start looking at your watch and at the same time Amitabh dies.. and you will loose remaining charm in the movie..
Direction .. I'll say it was confused types...director was not clear whether he wants to make an emotional or comedy movie. You will get a laugh, when SRK and Rani are crying..
While watching many times you will feel as if you are watching 'Cartoon Network'...
Still.. I enjoyed.. our expectations were clear.. (bcoz of Naveen bhai).. and we made fun of almost every scene..
cheers
Jiten
Guys Just Chill....Its just a movie....!!
I wonder what is so great about SRK that we have so many fans of SRK. He is neither handsome nor one would call him smart. The bakri type noises he makes really would put one off. But then it is a question of tastes. The point that I am trying to make is not that SRK is good for nothing. The bakri sound is not all that is there to SRK. He has much more than that. As Naveen rightly pointed out he has really acted well in a lot of movies. Having said that, if one says that he is indespensable for certain roles then that is because of the person's tase and choice. The reason of disecting SRK's appeal is to prove that a certain film is good or bad not by its ability to entertain, because one person's entertainment might be another person's headache. It is the taste of the person who sees it that really matters. For example Lagaan was a super sit in the box office and was also critically acclaimed. But I did not like it a bit. It seemed like pop patriotism to me. At the same time Iqbal which had nothing to do with glamour and was a story of a dumb and deaf guy's struggle against family and circumstances appealed to me a lot. Not that I am a intelectual type of a person. Given a choice I would rather like to see something like Dhoom than anything else. I even avoided going to the theatre for Iqbal where as I rarely miss any movie and even changed the channel when this movie came up initially on the TV. But then when I saw it I really liked it. The statement that I want to make is that it depends on the person's choices and the mood one is in when one walks into the theatre. If one wants to see a song and dance sequence and one is shown a Mrinal Sen movie then it is obvious that one will say that the movie is not worth watching. So when we think of a Karan Johar movie we expect it to be a fairytale. And if it happens to be something remotely serious then it is certainly going to be called a waste. I would call that a bad movie that is made in such a manner that the target audience is not able to comprehend the meaning or the sequence of events. The other point as Naveen says that a Hollywood movie would have finished it in 90 min and this was too long is not applicable. The movie is meant for the Indian audiance, when I say Indian audiance it does not mean to whom this blog has been forwarded only. It means to the masses of India. A Hollywood moive will not have a song and dance because that does not satite the tastes of the people to whom this is targeted. Many people in India go to watch movies just for the songs and dances. The Hollywood movies are in a different cardre and Indian movies are in a different cardre. Comparing the two in any respects would be foolhardy. So I would take this review with a pinch of salt.
Whewwww........See that's why he's called 'The Killer Ray'. I mean ,,,look at the length of my blog and then have a look at the length of comment # 5.
The review of my review is a total stunner. Hats off to Mr. Ray for such an explainatory desection of my review. Nevertheless I in entirety support 'Killer Ray's' view that it's entirely a matter of taste.
Somehow I feel most of our patrons having some kind of commonality ; all those who think life is a boon not a burden , all those who have feelings and passions , all those who have memories to cherish , who have families to love , who have friends to care about, who have people loving them , who wants to live a life like absoulutely normal human being will be agreeing to great extent to my views.
I mean I am adressing my views to average human beings not to philosophers or yogis or sufis or so called 'different' meaning differently fucked up guys who hate life and don't believe in activities that an average human being perform.
It's the fact: "It's entirely a matter of taste". You can have a taste to hate your life and you can have a taste for living life as life.
On the lighter node , I feel many of our CSC coworkers agreed to my views and finally the movie show of KANK that was supposed to be organised by RECREATION committee has been cancelled and the reason behind this has been : "Bad reviews".
Mostly , Life never sucks , it is the man himself who allows his life to suck.
Post a Comment
<< Home