One Week, Seven Movies & Indian Characters

“I feel most uncomfortable, when I start to feel comfortable" said one of the managers in my office some day. I don't know whom he was quoting, but I found it interesting enough to memorize it. Anyways, it was the great suburban Chicago summer of 2005, when I started feeling comfortable in above sense and had to find something which will keep me busy for at least a week after my office hours are over. Watching movies on DVD was never a bad idea, especially when it's for free. Likelihood of, me watching Hollywood/American movies back home is very less, as my country produces largest number of movies each year in the whole world and I don't find time enough to even watch just 2% of them per year. So I was kind of geared up for movies on DVD week.

I borrowed five movie DVDs from the community library; of course five was the maximum limit, each was issued for a week. I was not looking for any specific movie, so I had to pick and choose from whatever was available on the shelf. So the list goes this way. The very first I picked up was “The Terminal”. I had never heard of the name but saw director's name on the cover and it read “Steven Spielberg”. So, I thought let's give it a try, above all Steve has been 'The Directore~' since ‘Jaws’ and he made millions of new international fans with “Jurassic Park” series.

Next movie which I picked up was "Harold and Kumar go to white castle". But this was not an unheard name for me. One of my American associates in my office told me once that it is the most raw comedy movie he has seen ever, I had no option but to grab that up. Next in line was "The English Patient". Of course it rang some kind of bell and I could figure out that this was some kind of best picture at Oscars for some year. The note on the DVD cover confirmed it. Next two movies that I grabbed were both Ben Stiller starred flicks. First was "Along Came Polly" and second was "Starsky and Hutch". I barely knew anything about Stiller until I watched "Meet the Fockers" in the flight from Paris to Chicago.

So I had these five DVDs with me on Monday evening. I started with "Startsky & Hutch" on Monday. I'd like to quote the scene from the movie , where Snoop Dog is inside a ‘Godfather’ like den and an Indian Shopkeeper comes to him for some kind of underworld protection and Snoopy assures him of that and at the same time other bad guys in the Den were trying to mock Indian accent of this frightened shopkeeper. I said to myself, wow there's an Indian in this movie.

Tuesday was the day for "The English Patient". It was a long tiring movie with a very sad ending. This movie also had a Sikh character named Kip. The character was some kind of bomb disposal expert in British reign beautifully played by Naveen Andrews and his role was one of the vital roles in the movie. Come Wednesday and I watched "The Terminal" starring Tom Hanks. There was a character in this movie with the name Gupta Rajan. This guy plays a substantial role in the movie and wins hearts of everyone by stopping the plane on runway in a heroic act to help Hanks so that he can do, what he intended to do. His last act in the move really touched heart.

I was overwhelmed with the sentimental stuff till now and it was the time for Comedy and believe me "Harold and Kumar go to white castle” was not a disappointment by any means. It is amongst the most hilarious comedy I’ve seen ever. The 'hero' Kumar plays an ABCD lad in the movie and is just superb. Last but not the least was Friday's "Along came Polly". I t doesn't had any significant Indian character there in the movie but it has an Indian restaurant where Aniston takes Stiller to have lunch (or may be dinner) and they meet Stiller’s parent in the restaurant. Definitely Indian restaurant was shown in the context that Indian food is spicy and stiller would throw out again as he had this weird Irresistible Bowel Syndrome, but I liked the act where Stiller's mom call an Indian waiter in the restaurant while imitating slow Indian accent “that native American guy” and Stiller replies to her that she can call him “Indian” and it is actually an Indian restaurant. So by now, you might have figured out what I am trying to say here. All these movies had Indian characters in them and it was mere coincidence because I just picked these movies at random except "Harold and Kumar ...' as the name Kumar explicitly indicates Indian character. So I was thinking wow or in Will Smith’s style ‘Woh Woh’, is it real or I just got lucky.. Americans can't make movies without an Indian character… Indian characters are so important for Hollywood movies….But my astonishment did not end here.

It was Saturday night, I had no movies to watch at home and therefore planned to go out to movie theatre for watching "Dukes of Hazzard" and by this time I was again expecting at least one Indian character in the movie but none showed up until last 20 minutes of the movie. There was a fat desi (Indian) guy with faked American accent who was playing campus cop in the movie. It was a very small appearance of his and was carrying no significance whatsoever and when I told my friend sitting beside me watching the movie that this guy looks like an Indian , he said “ Damn Right , he is and he is the director of the movie and name is Chandrasekhar , Jay Chandrasekhar” . I was in aw.

Sunday is a fun day, but was not for me that week. This was this bright Sunday noon and I had nothing to do but watch one more Hollywood movie in theatre and I decided for sweet "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". There was an actor in the movie who played the role of 65 “Oompa Loompa” – Watch “C and TCF” for understanding the meaning of this darn word. His looks were definitely Indian. At the end of the movie, came to know that his name was Deep Roy and on further research found that he is from Kenya not India. But none the less must be of Indian origin. And, and …. There was one more character in the movie played by Nitin Ganatra ; the name of the Character was Prince Pondicherry.

This was all about the seven movies I watched in a week and all of them were having some Indian characters or Indian actors in them. It was definitely something not very usual or regular. I am not trying to point any kind of BJP's “India Shining” concept or increasing popularity of Indians in American movies. I just wanted to let others know about this was a wonderful coincidence which happened to me and I enjoyed all of these movies, especially pinch of Indian character in each of them made the each movie’s dish real tasty.

The Heart Says ...

The heart says

The 'Cheap' Conundrum

There is this developing, third world country somewhere in south Asia named Swadesh. Does the name of the country ring a bell? Name sounds like some kind of an intelligent combination of Sweden & Bangladesh. Swadesh has got no links or relations with Sweden but its true that , it is located somewhere near Bangladesh only and as a matter of fact only those people in the whole world have heard the name of this country , who already knew the nation named ‘Karkozia’ from Steven Spielberg's 'The Terminal'. Anyways Swadesh is de facto IT nation of the world and therefore from Swadesh many IT professionals come to US for working on IT projects. Hail Outsourcing. Most of the citizens of Swadesh are young, bright, smart, hard working, adaptable etcetera, and etcetera but there are also those few who are cheap, stingy, tightfisted, contemptible, parsimonious, frugal etcetera and etcetera. Different people from Swadesh come to US for different durations such as 1-4 months (B1 or Basic Group) , 6- 12 months (L1 or Low duration group ) , 2-5 years (H1 or High duration group) and some Swadeshis never
return back to Swadesh and become citizens of US (GC or Green Card or Got to be Cheap Group ). Bottom-line, different kinds of people from Swadesh come to US but we are going to focus here on the cheap, stingy etcetera group.


We have two couples residing in one of the northern suburbs of Chicago. Let me introduce couple number one. Mrs. Dooja Mala and Mr. Fishy Mala. Allow me to call them ‘Malas’. They belong to L1 group above and they are one of the cheapest couple on the whole earth. Second couple is Mrs. Pumpkin Chopa and Mr. Pola Chopa from GC group. One mentionable point about Mr. Pola Chopa; his actual name in Swadesh was Ratnaker Chopa, but in US , people were really having hard time to pronounce his name properly and used to call him Red Nigger , Red Naked , Red Knickers ,Rent a Car,’ Rate Na Kar' (which in the native language of Swadesh mean 'Please don't bargain’ ) and other humiliating names, So he decided to change his name to Cola as he was a big time fan of Cola , but Mrs. Pumpkin wanted him to have his new name start from P as her name was also starting from P so he finally settled with Pola. Let me call them Chopas. None the less, Chopas also claim that they are the most parsimonious couple residing in US. Only the future will tell who the best is. But for sure, Chopas and Malas are top two cheapest couples on the world. Our big Question, our conundrum is, who’s number one. We will find the answer, do not worry. Secret is about to unravel

One beautiful Saturday noontime, Malas and Chopas, both the couples were returning empty handed from Hawthfailao Shopping mall towards the parking lot. Why empty handed?? They were ‘Cheap’, so they never bought anything from mall unless it was totally free or free after mail-in-rebate.

In US cows roaming on streets is not very usual and in case they do roam around on streets, they don’t scatter their dung on streets (although which was a very common scene back in Swadesh), but nevertheless there was some huge lump of cow dung laying on the ground in parking lot .Over the dung was laying a serene one Dollar Bill. Malas and Chopas saw the dung (let’s start calling it shit) covered Dollar Bill at the same time. Malas and Chopas started running towards shit (sorry, Dollar bill) to grab it and reached the spot simultaneously. Lady Mala yelled to Chopas, “Go away, this is ours, we saw it first”. Mr. Chopa replied calmly “Sure the whole shit is yours but the dollar bill is ours”. Fishy attacked in a sophisticated manner “Sir, would you please mind keeping control of your slippery tongue and chuck your boring lame joke. This is not the way to talk with ladies from Swadesh, especially my better half Mrs. Dooja ji. By any chance, do you have any idea that I was the first person who buried my eyes on this Dollar Bill lying over the blackish green excreta of some unknown cow”. Lady Chopa exclaimed ‘Holy Cow!!!’ “What are you? Who the hell do you think is going to believe you, my Pola saw it first’ and then…Then….Then arguments started and finally turned into some sort of a quarrel.

There was this silent observer named Mr. Poking Nose who just parked in before this whole argument started , was looking at the whole mess and was the firsthand witness of the argument , reached the scene asked all of them ' What the hell is this ? Why are you all guys fighting over a Dollar Bill and that too a Dollar Bill covered up in shit ‘.This guy was so frustrated that he was about to give them a proposal to give dollar to each group from his side, but as soon as his senses help him recognize that these people are Swadeshis, he dropped this idea, but nevertheless he proposed another intelligent solution to put an end to this ‘Alien Vs Predator’ War. His idea was a William Arthur
Ward’s quote “Obedience to our Heavenly Father starts with our loving service to a needy brother.". “Needier should get it. The couple needing it more, poorer couple, more deprived couple amongst you really deserves this Dollar shit. Poor and Needy ….” Poking Nose was not even finished and Mr. Chopa interrupted, “Mind your tongue Mister, who the hell in this world is needy or poor. I am far too well to do than what you can ever imagine. I have $200,000 in cash in my TCF Bank account. My Pumpkin also earns a fortune in her accountant job. I have a house in North suburb, one Bungalow in Kentucky and I have recently bought a flat in 420 S. Michigan Avenue, Downtown Chicago. All my houses are on rent including the one in which I am residing now. Now, Now….Now you dare to call me Poor and Needy. “ . Mr. Poking Nose was like,” Aw. Shoot, this guy is anything but needy. He is cheap. “.

Fishy also couldn't resist. He responded “Needy, My 28 inch small ass. I make $65000 an year legally and I don’t want to declare my illegal earnings, have 4 big fat Swadeshi houses in Swadesh and My Father is Undergarment King of Lelhi, Capital of Swadesh. We are the largest exporter of Undergarments in whole Swadesh and you call me needy. Needy... My Dooja’s foot.”

Mr. Poking Nose was puzzled as hell,” Goddamn it. Man, Oh Man, all of you are so rich then why the hell in the whole world, you guys worry about a trivial, Shit messed, single, Uno, one Dollar Bill.” All the four of our protagonists almost sang together "Because, we are Cheap'. Poking Nose talked to himself “You Bet”.

Fishy explained for himself and his wife, we are the official cheapest couple in whole Swadesh and everyone knows about it. In fact we were the ‘Shame Jodi (couple)’ in famous TV reality Show ‘Shame Gurukul’. Every one in Lelhi knows about it , Whole Swadesh , My employer Corona Shoe Company CSC , my client at NY City , all shopping mall goers in Chicago , NY , Miami ;everywhere we have left our ‘Cheap’ marks. And then he, did an enactment like the He-Man and declared “We are the Masters ...oops, Cheapest couple of the Universe”

Mr. Chopa replied seriously “We left Swadesh in good old days thirteen years back. I am a GC now. You could become Shame Jodi because we were not there. Otherwise you had no chance. We left Swadesh when you were in your nappies only. All states know that I and Pump are the cheapest couple in the whole US. You don't even know that the word ‘Cheap’ has been derived from my surname Chopa. Chopa became Cheapa and Cheapa became Cheap and you claim you guys are the cheapest guys…No way. People in Kentucky , Illinois , Las Vegas , CA , Swadesh’s largest city Gumgai , NOIDEA , Jhumri Talaiya and virtually every place , still get into shivers and mental tremors , when they remember our name ‘The Cheap Chopas’ Since we are the cheapest couple on the earth , let this shit dollar bill be ours .”

Fishy zealously replied “Okay … it’s a deal, whichever group amongst us proves that they are ‘The Cheapest’, will get the shit dollar bill.” Chopas accepted “Yes”.

But then problem on hands now was to decide upon the cheapest couple on the earth, as both were claiming to be ‘Cheapest’. Poking Nose came up with a brilliant Godfather idea. “Okay Guys. I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse. Let’s settle down and agree upon something. As we all know Mr. Chhota Chattri is the wisest Sheppard in our whole suburb. Let him decide who the cheapest guys are and whatever he says finally, we all will agree to it.”

Our couples once again Meg Ryanically moaned in tandem “Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes” Everyone again said in tandem “OK.”

Poking Nose closed his eyes and started muttering something for around thirty seconds and voila!!!!There He was...Chhota Chattri was on the scene in the same parking lot where Malas and Chopas were trying to ‘outcheap’ each other for the shit Dollar Bill. Let’s call Chhota Chhatri, CC for our convenience. CC calmly said to Poking Nose “I know you are real admirer of mine and that’s why I am here on just your hearty call. Now, can you explain me your problem in short?” Poking explained everything to CC and asked him to provide his views and judgment. CC thought for a while and addressed Malas and Chopas “See, all you guys, this is not an easy call and I want to be fully prudent and impartial in my decision, so I will require you to provide some information to me and to answer some of my questions and once I am satisfied that I have sufficient information to make a call, I will provide my judgment. If you guys agree to it, we will move ahead, otherwise I will disappear from the scene and will continue to feed by black sheep.” Both the couples nodded in agreement “Yes”.

CC looked towards Mr. Mala and said “Okie Dokie, Here we go. I assume, in both the couples, males are the dominating forces. So, Mr. Mala, you have exactly sixty seconds and in these seconds you can say whatever you want to say. Your time will start, when I will signal ‘Three’. One… Two…Three….Start.”

Mr. Mala started in full pace “Sir, We, me and Dooja are the cheapest couple on the whole earth. We bought a camera from Sears, used it for a year and returned it to them after one year and received all the money back, we spent for buying it. One year…You know what I mean. One year…We never bought any comforter, but still used it. We changed a comforter from Wal-Mart for 18 times in a span of 6 months and finally returned it, when summer started. We never used apartment Laundry during the whole duration of our stay in US, instead we washed all our clothes in bath tub. We sold a designer ‘Kurta’ which we brought from Swadesh for our own use to some idiot American at a price 50 times more than the actual price and interesting thing was Dooja already used that ‘Kurta’ for 3 months. Once receptionist in our office Jan, found a wounded bird, a beautiful yellow parrot at the entrance door, she brought the bird inside the office and cured it for couple of day and then later asked all employees in the office, if anyone wanted to keep the bird with them at their home and could take care of the bird as a pet and you know what, I grabbed the bird and again sold it to a dumb American for 50 bucks. I was… ”. CC interrupted “Sorry, Fishy, you have already exceeded time quota given to you. Let’s hear Mr. Chopa now and dear Malas please maintain silence”. CC was not even finished Pola rushed “Dear Sir, no one can …” CC shouted, “Pola please… at least allow me to signal start. Okay, your time starts… One…Two…Three…now”

Pola started in a hurry “No one can beat us in cheapness. I always look for deals and coupons before buying even onions or potatoes. We never bought a single utensil or kitchen ware for ourselves after December 1997; we are using utensils of our paying guest tenants. I never switch on heater or AC even if temperature goes below 0 or rises above 100. I am wearing the same underwear from last seven years. Once I got a JC Penny coupon worth $5 which said - spend $50 and save $5; I bought a shirt worth $4.99, I went to a dumb looking counter person and forced him to sell me the shirt against that coupon and in fact, I grabbed even the remaining penny also. We haven’t bought single body soap from last 5 years; I always bring lots of them from hotel rooms, where I stay on my official trips. I have usurped the security deposit of $350 for at least 5 tenants in last three years. I never use the restroom in my home in the morning on weekdays. I finish all my daily morning activities in office itself; it saves me water, soap, toilet paper and electricity. Fishy Mala has just sold Swadeshi stuff in US and I do vice versa, and I do it on a large scale. I have sold numerous digital cameras worth $200 at almost double the price in Swadesh. Whenever there is forecast of heavy snowstorm or blizzard, I always park my Car in open and have claimed a lot of money from Insurance company number of times against minor dents developed on Car surface because of snow.” CC interrupted, “Enough Pola, Time is up. You too never wanted to stop. Huh…”

CC continued, “Both the groups are confirmed damn cheapest groups and all your habits and deeds about which you told me just now are by any standard far more cheap than any average normal human being in US can exercise or practice. But both the groups still appear equally cheap to me. This one minute speech thing didn’t prove any group better than other in cheapness. I still need some more information from you guys before I can actually arrive to a conclusion. Why don’t you guys, tell me about your ‘Cheapest’ deeds ever done? Hers are the rules; each group will tell me about their three ‘Cheap’ deeds which they consider are cheapest things they have ever done and mind you!!! Please keep your stories clean. I know you guys are so cheap that you can literally cross any kind of limit but I don’t want to listen to any shit activity which you might have performed related to any super “R” rated item like prostitution , rubbers , shit , fart and any such messy stuff. You know, what I mean? This time let’s start with Chopas and of course there’s no time limit, but please be quick and crisp. I am getting another hearty call from one of the real admirers of mine in black south suburb.

Mrs. Pumpkin Chopa started, “If I’d try real hard, I can at least recollect 101 cheap deeds of ours. But as of now, on hands, I manged to remember these three. Mr. CC, I believe my cheapest deed was returning a used panty to Wal-Mart after using it for 59 days. This says a lot about our cheapness. To keep our discussion clean, I won’t mention a very interesting incident about a rubber pack. The second best I believe was selling a bike (known as cycle or bicycle in Swadesh) to one of our tenants. The incident goes like this. Once a guy named Merlyn Al Attri, I must say dashing, smart and handsome guy...Aah…. (Pumpkin sighs…) came to US from Swadesh on L1 category and he rented one portion in our house. He loved riding…riding bikes so he bought a bike from Wal-Mart and kept it in our garage. We charged him additional money for keeping the bike in our garage and once he left US, we started renting the bike to kids in the neighborhood. Of course, he couldn’t take the bike with himself back to Swadesh and as history repeats itself; six months later Merlyn’s cousin Shah Al Attri came to US on same L1 category and he also loved riding bikes. So we made him a Godfatherly offer he couldn’t refuse. We sold his own brother’s bike to him at the same price at which his brother bought it and we also charged him the additional parking. The last thing I’d like to mention is this interesting incident; we were new in US, were in Virginia and were about to shift our apartment in a new area. We were always in hunt for items which American people keep outside their houses as junk on some weekday so that waste management trucks will carry with them to trash it or provide it to Salvation Army finally. Once we saw a beautiful sofa cum bed outside one house in the area where we were about to shift. We crossed all our limits of cheapness , we went to the owner and literally begged them not to trash that sofa bed until the weekend as we were supposed to shift our apartment in the weekend and in our current stay there was no space to keep such a big sofa set. With our cheap skills we were able to persuade that person, another dumb American and finally grabbed sofa from him on Weekend when we shifted to new apartment. So you see CC, how cheap we are. We are number one.” Everyone standing there started applauding the cheap incidents Pumpkin just explained. Pola patted Pumpkin’s back, “I never thought you were so good at explaining things.” Pumpkin replied,” For shit dollar, I can learn or unlearn anything….Haa Haa Haa……….”

Pola added, ”CC I’d just like to add that I go for hair cut only semi annually, you know its so costly here in US.” “Don’t forget the rules Pola, Three is Three.” warned CC.
CC continued looking towards Lady Mala “Your turn cheap guys.”

Fishy Said “CC, I’ll take the onus of delivering our cheap deeds to you. I can also recollect at least couple of Hundreds cheap deeds, but I’d like to present best three of ours. You’d never believe this but this is true. We visited our B1 colleague Chatnaker Chamanchilly who was given an official accommodation, a hotel room by our company for a few days, we asked Chatnaker, if we could take the toilet papers, bath tissues and soaps to home everyday since he got them for free anyway at the Hotel. He couldn’t refuse as he was my junior programmer in my same project. Swadesh is a land of festivals and one of the festivals is “Rakhi”. On “Rakhi”, all sisters tie up a holy thread or “Rakhi” on their brother’s wrist as an indication of their love for their brothers and in turn brothers take pledge to protect their sisters from any danger throughout their lives and also provide some gifts to their sisters in their capacities. You know Swadesh….land of customs, orthodox and sentimental fools. But important part from my angle is this “Rakhi” thing was, I had a wife who could be a sister also, if not real then at least realized. I called one B1 guy, again another junior programmer in my project and asked him to realize something, realize that my wife is his sister and so that she could tie a “Rakhi” on his wrist and in turn he should at least give a gift worth $10 to my wife. Do you understand, what I am saying here? Can you imagine how cheap we are and can be? Next thing is also very impressive. Dooja always wanted to visit Miami Beach, Florida and it’s too far from Chicago, so only way to take her there was thru Air travel only. I planned it this way, I booked our tickets during the season when there were all the stories about Katrina Hurricane in Florida and New Orleans in the whole world and of course during that season everything related to Florida was cheap including return air tickets from Chicago to Miami. I got the return tickets for $13 (I am the ‘Deal Monster’). We always knew, we can’t be hit by Katrina, God won’t like the company of cheap guys like us and just to answer Pola’s last comment, I never go for Hair Cut outside, and My Dooja is excellent at cutting all kinds of hairs at home.”

Dooja had tears in her eyes as Fishy finished. Looking towards Fishy she accepted “I always knew you are my best match. We are made for each other” and then Malas started kissing each other to show their enormous ‘Cheap’ love towards each other. Poking Nose who was silent from quite a while cleared his throat and addressed Malas “For me, you are the cheapest couple and shit Dollar must be yours.” CC interrupted with might “This is my job to decide the cheapest couple Poking. Let me finish my job.” He looked towards all of our four protagonists and continued “I am almost done with my decision, but still not fully satisfied with myself. I never made any wrong judgment for any of my cases till now and definitely I want to continue the trend so that faith of my admirers on me doesn’t fade down. This is going to be last small exercise for you guys and after that I will declare my judgment about the ‘Cheapest couple on the earth’ and here’s the deal, I will provide each group with a same two question questionnaire and you need to submit the answers to me in maximum of two minutes and each question has to be answered in less than 50 words. Any questions????” Malas and Chopas replied “No, Sir.”

CC clapped in air and magically he had couple of paper sheets and pens in his hands. He provided questionnaire and pens to Fishy and Pola and continued, “But I have questions for you in the paper sheet. First question reads like this: What all cheap deeds/acts can you do/perform while you are in a holy temple of your suburb?
Question two reads like this: As tomorrow is Halloween, What all cheap deeds/acts can you do/perform on occasion of Halloween to prove yourselves the cheapest couple? Remember 2 minutes and 50 words limits. Your time starts One…Two…Three…Now”

Both Fishy and Pola came up with their answers in exactly 2 minutes and handed over sheets to CC. CC quickly scanned the answers and almost declared the result “OK guys, the cheapest couple on the earth is the…..” and suddenly he paused “Won’t you all love to listen to the answers first ?”

All our protagonists impatiently replied “OK, Be quick.”

CC continued “Good.

Answer from Chopas:
‘Will go to nearest temple on day of Bhoj barefoot , will grab some nice shoes/sandals outside temple , Dooja will grab Henna corner and will apply Henna on palms of girls , will get paid for that , we will stay late there and will grab remaining food left after Bhoj.’

Answer from Malas for same temple question:
‘Will go in fellow devotee’s car , wear old footwear and will get new ones of others’ , will go only on day of Bhoj , will take Swadeshi articles with us and sell them there , Pumpkin will apply Mehndi to girls’ palms , will bring remaining food with us.

(Bhoj is Free Dinner / Lunch served to devotees as a form of Prasad in temples. On special days Girls in Swadesh apply decorative Henna or Mehndi on palms because of multiple reasons one of them being red color is considered to be auspicious color back in Swadesh , second is, it’s the in thing today and third is girls like make up in any sense and Mehndi is an add on and various other reasons which we of course don’t know.)

Second Answer from Chopas:
‘Americans will junk lot of home stuff on Halloween; will continue grabbing all useful stuff until we have stuff enough to put on garage sale. In eve will put on garage sale and when Kids will come to house for getting candies, will ask them to buy some stuff.”

Answer from Malas for Halloween question:
‘Morning: pick up thrown away stuff, Noon: work for subway, wear Halloween dresses/mask, stand on road showing way to commuters to subway from Main Street; get paid , will beg drivers also to give something. After Afternoon Free Burrito at Chipotle, Evening: Sale is open. Will ask kids to give us some candies.’”

(Every year on Halloween person going to Chipotle dressed like a Burrito, Burrito Bowl, Salad, or Taco, receives a free burrito.)

CC addressed our couples and Poking Nose,” I knew, if I’d have given you even 5000 words you wouldn’t have finished then also, you can think as deep cheap as an abyss that’s why I gave you the limit of 50 words. Cheap Minds think alike. Both the couples are equally stingy and equally cheap, all of your thoughts are disturbingly dreadful but Malas proved that they are one step ahead from any cheapest thought. I must say I never thought people as cheap as you exist on this earth. I am done with my decision. I admit that Chopas were terribly cheap at all instances but Malas proved to a step ahead of them in every walk. At this time I have not even a figment of doubt about my decision and I Chhota Chhatri hereby with all shepparding power bestowed to me by state of Illinois and county of Northern Suburb declare that, Dooja Mala and Fishy Mala form the Cheapest Couple on the earth. Congratulations!!! Fishy and Dooja, you may now kiss the shit Dollar Bill, it’s all yours. Go have fun.

Just one word of caution for you Fishy, I know (you know, I know lot of things) that you are imparting this art of misery and cheapness to two kids Chatnaker Chintapally and Chinky Chayattri Chutta and officially training them to learn this art, but beware Aunt Pussy Cat never teaches Kid Lion to climb trees, so that in case Kid Lion attacks her some day, she will just climb on the tallest branch of a tree and will save her life. You know! What I mean??? Anyways…

Chopas Please don’t get disheartened, I know you are too cheap and miser but Malas were only little better than you guys and I was just being impartial. For Fishy and Dooja I can only say this as in a way once Einstein quoted about Gandhi guys ‘Generations to come will scarce believe that such a cheap couple as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.’”